Finally! The wait is over! Let’s go get our babies!
After waiting 30 days we jumped back on a plane for Ukraine; time to go pick up our children.
We were so excited and nervous! We had been told LOTS of advise as we prepared to leave to get our kiddos. All by well meaning folks but it really did not set me at ease. What were we doing? We are bringing two kids into our house, in a new country and they know very little English. What could possibly go wrong? (insert shaking head and deep sigh here)
We made the very long trip and arrived at the tiny village where our children lived. We walked around the orphanage with the kids, talked with a few teachers and met for the final time with the director. After signing all the papers we prepared to leave with the kids. It was a bitter sweet moment. Our girl who had once been excited and ready to go now faced saying goodbye to everyone she had ever known. She sat on a little stone wall, tears filled her eyes. She would not look at me or anyone else. My heart broke for her. I could only imagine her thoughts and feelings. We slowly walked her to the gate as her friends gathered around her once more to say goodbye and wish her well. Our new found son was a different story. He bounded around joyfully and yelled goodbye as he ran for the car.
We would now spend the next month living in Ukraine. It would take that long to finish all the paperwork, visas, passports, Id requirements and background checks. We tried to make the most of it but it was very hard on all of us. I just wanted to go home and start our new “normal” life. I found living in hotel rooms, in a strange place anything but normal. We couldn’t plan anything as we never knew what each day would en tale. One moment we were fine the next we were battling melt downs. When we had those under control (for a minute) we were being shuffled around to file various papers and meet medical appointments. All while trying to understand what was being said to me and around me in a foreign language. It was exhausting. My emotions were on edge and so were my children’s. There is often a “honeymoon” period in adopting children; you know things are perfect and wonderful. Well we did not get that. Our son who is very smart had learned how to get attention in ALL the wrong ways. He began pushing boundaries immediately. Our daughter began to worry we would leave them because things were so tense. I would be a liar if I said the thought did not cross my mind.
Finally, on July 2nd, we were able to begin traveling for America. We landed on American soil on July 3rd, 2018. Oh Happy Day!! That was the best feeling, knowing we were home and that these kids were indeed our kids. We had survived the flight with 2 motion sick kids, cleared immigration and customs! Thank you Lord! Home sweet home!
As I look back on that time, I honestly don’t know who cried more; me or the kids. The one thing, as an adoptive mom, that I always try to remember is that no matter what we do for our kids, it is still part of their trauma. Do I love them? Yes. Do they love us? Most days. Is it a good thing we adopted them? Yes! They have so many opportunities now and a family. Was it still a trauma for them? YES! They left everything to be in our family. My heart hurt for them. We all had to learn a new way of life. They now had parents, rules, new culture and new expectations. My husband and I were parents for the first time, to kids that had grown up learning how to “cheat the system” by lying, cheating, stealing and keeping adults at arms length. This was a far cry from what we had envisioned for being parents. We would also discover this was a far cry from what our children had envisioned as well.
Welcome to parenthood!
Callthehousewife 